The Rules of Good Living

The Sassy Beer Gypsy IS someone’s conscience.

Some people may think I’m an alcoholic. Some people may think I’m promiscuous. And, well, some may think I’m a lesbian. Ok, so it was my mom who thought I was a lesbian because I was kinda pissy about her comment that I need to date a nice Catholic boy. I said in return, ” What if I don’t want to date a nice Catholic boy? What if I want to date women?” My mom went beyond gnashing her teeth and wailing. Every week during lent, she left me a message saying I needed to repent and give “something” up for lent. Ha. Ha! HAHAHAHA!

Contrary to my critics, I’d like to say I am none of the above.

I love beer. If beer had no alcohol, I’d still drink it.

I love sensuality. That doesn’t mean just sex. I love indulging my senses. My job requires alot of my senses, so they stay sharp. Sometimes I overwhelm them and at times I deprive them in order to make them sharper.

Having some basic guidelines for good living are important. I may be lighthearted and a hedonist, but I do NOT advocate true bad behavior (alcoholism, addiction, unprotected sex, idiocy…you  get the drift). These are some guidelines I live by:

1. KNOW your limits! I don’t get trashed every night or even have a beer every night. It’s not healthy to drink like that and I have only one liver. Also, alcohol poisoning is not fun and expensive if you end up in the ER.

2. Take RESPONSIBILITY. Like I once said, you can’t take back the stupid shite you did last night. Therefore, don’t get so schnockered you can’t remember or you make bad decisions. Blaming other people or things for your dumb ass is lame. Buck up and take responsibility for your actions!

3. NEVER drive if you’ve been drinking. That is just plain stupid. Besides your death, do you really want to be responsible for the death of innocent people? Don’t be a douche bag…get a taxi. AND if you’re biking, have a buddy who is sober because getting a DUI on a bike sucks ass.

4. SAFE SEX!!! Babies and STDs are expensive, not just financially expensive but on a Twin Towers sized spectrum of expensive. There are some bad choices that stay with you for life and there’s some that shorten your life. Not being safe can do both. Be respectful of yourself and others, use a condom!

5. Be an ELITIST. I am an advocate of being VERY picky when it comes to lovers. Sensuality and sex are sacred to me, so I’m not going to hook up with just anyone.

6. NEVER shag someone when you first meet them or on the first date. That’s just bad form. I usually wait until after the third date, IF there is a third date and it’s still not a guarantee. I’m an elitist. 😉

7. The most important rule: Use (un)common sense. Even after a few beers, you can still use it, yet it seems like so few do. Common sense is pretty sexy.

These are just some of the more important points. I like having fun but not at the price of my health or the people I’m with. That’s just rude.

Have fun out there and remember to be responsible!

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