First Night in Prague

Good to know they're not invalid stamps.

Good to know they’re not invalid stamps.

Disclaimer: I’m drinking a Budvar as I write this. It’s my 3rd beer and they cost about the same as a bus ticket except when it’s happy hour then they’re 20 kourna. You’ll get the reference in abit.
After a grueling 24 hours in airports and on airplanes, I finally made it to Prague! Since I’m savvy enough to navigate most mass transit, I hop the 119 bus into Prague. Only 32 kourna gets you where ever you need for a 90 minute period which was enough to arrive at The Czech Inn.
Note: The Czech Inn is an freaking awesome hostel. Very clean. Very safe. Decently priced. Right near the tram. The price for food and beer are super cheap in comparison to Mala Stana and Old Town. Highly recommended.
My first duty after long flights: shower. Amber finds me post-shower while I’m brushing my teeth (we ended up on different flights which separated us for about 10 hours) and fills me in on her day of walking around. I ask if she took mass transit to the host. Amber says she splurged on a cab but the driver was awesome. It was 1000 kourna (about $60). I say, “Really? I took mass transit for 32 ($1.90)…” WHAT?!?!? Yeppers. The rest of the night it was the butt of many, many jokes at her expense. To her credit, Amber did do something that I don’t do. She had made a Czech friend over Facebook that was going to meet us at the Inn.
Intro: Michel. Let me tell you, Amber so TOTALLY lucked out on him. Michel is one of the nicest, gentlemanly ball busters I’ve met in awhile. He teased her about never having seen the original Star Wars movies (which I do often). He touts liking sci-fi but is definitely no geek.
And I digress…so Amber and I are chugging a beer in the bar at the hostel when she squeals and hugs some guy that walks up to her.
Who the heck is this guy? Michel!

Amber does the intro and our Brazilian Czech friend takes us out for the night…
Our first stop is a beer garden. An honest, true blue, Czech beer garden. There’s a rock n roll band playing on a huge stage, tons of picnic tables, TONS of people, and stands that sell you grilled sausage of all kinds and beer. Beautiful Czech beer. We hang for a bit drink a beer, munch on klobasa, and get to know each other. Michel had said there was a film festival happening all week next to beer garden so we finish our beers and go walking. Not much more than half a block away is a big screen playing a documentary about Blanksy and street art. Afterward watching for about 15 minutes, Amber and Michel decide to go back to the garden and I stayed for the movie.
It was a beautiful night. The park had an amazing view of the castle and St Vitus. How could I not stay? Yes, I came to drink beer. But I also came to enjoy the culture. Watch movie…look at view…watch movie…look at view…what did you say?…sorry…neh Czechsky….yes, I do speak English. What? Yes, I have heard of tantric massage. You manage a spa that does that?

So that’s me, meeting Jan. He gives me his business card and says to stop by tomorrow and he’ll show me around the spa. I didn’t go…yet. I really need a massage so I’m tempted to schedule one there. We’ll see.
Movie over. I head back to the beer garden. I find Amber and Michel, we drink another beer, then we head to the fucking COOLEST bar evah. No, really. It’s all rebar and moving parts with awesome techno. Like beautiful house music. Music that makes anyone want to shake their ass.

Intro: Cross Club. Seriously. This place looks like it jumped out of Firefly (sci-fi tv show). If you haven’t seen the show, sorry, but you suck (at least from a geek perspective). It’s 4 floors of amazing. The only thing not amazing about it was the two drunk Czech guys hitting on me. I might be about sensuality, but if you grab my ass before I even know your name, you = looser. Homie does not play like that. The worst part was I actually had to ask Amber to save me. They just wouldn’t leave me alone! Hell, do I really look like a horny American woman who has no standards? Even with Amber discouraging them, they STILL would not leave me alone! Wtf?!?!? I would dance, see one and duck off the dance floor, hide in a booth with Amber and Michel, and when it looked safe I would hit the dance floor again. This was the drill for probably about an hour until one figured out where I was hiding. The one that was trying to grope me the most. Damn.
Amber’s quote of the night, “I was thinking about kissing you in hopes that he would think we were a pair but I really think that would just turn him on more and we’d be fucked.”


Quaintly drunk, we left the club.
My favorite part of the night: watching Amber and Michel suck face in the booth while I ate the fried camembert and french fries we were going to share. When they finally pulled away from each other, I started clapping and said, “Bravo! Bravo!” Scared the shit out of them. They had no clue I had sat there for 5 minutes, just watching.
Epic win.


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