The Joshua Tree Epilogue

It’s been 6 months since my trip to Joshua Tree National Park.

Life is very different from what it was before the trip. Even though it looked like I transitioned back into the hum drum pretty well, I didn’t. I don’t think anyone really does after adventures like that. It’s as if your brain chemistry changes. Nothing is the same ever again.

There is the eternal itch to pack up my bicycle and just ride.

To anywhere.

To nowhere.

To oblivion and back with a detour through hell just for shits and giggles.

To ditch everything I’ve built here in the Denver/Boulder area and just disappear on the open road. As much as I love to ride, it’s hard now to get on the beer bike to commute or get groceries because all I want to do when I start peddling, is to keep going.

When I first started biking (instead of buying a car) in March of 2011, it was just a means to and end. To get somewhere I needed to be. To not spend money on something I didn’t need and saving my carbon foot print for flights to far off destinations. It was practical, logical, and reasonable. Never did I think I would love biking, that it would become so intertwined with my contentment. To go longer than a couple of days without biking, I would become mean, moody, and hate the world.

All because of a bicycle.

The beer bike has become more than just a piece of equipment or a means of transport. It’s a symbol of the the ideas I love most in life. Simplicity, hard work, freedom, perseverance, and as the Taoists say, being the uncarved block, or pu.

In Joshua Tree, I found what so many search for. The stillness of inner peace and the contentment of love and being one with the universe. Every time I get on my bike, I feel it all over again. That’s now why I ride and why I will never stop.

To anywhere and nowhere and all points in between, it’s just me and my bicycle.

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Standing While Peeing

If there was anything that I wish I could do, it would be standing while peeing.

Now…don’t get me wrong. I really like being a woman. There’s alot of spiffs to my gender. I like it that guys buy me beer. I like having doors opened for me. I like multiple orgasms. I like wearing dresses.

BUT…I dislike having to hover over a toilet laden with human-processed-beer (aka pee) or the splish-splooshes from flushing. It’s pretty gross. I remember as a little girl, my mom taking me into a public bathroom and getting in the stall with me. She would tell me to never sit on the seat because I could catch something from the toilet. Then she would lift me up, put me feet on the toilet seat, keep holding me as I dropped my drawers, and then she would instruct me to squat.

Did I ever mention my mom is from Thailand?

Maybe I should decorate it...?

Maybe I should decorate it…?

So when I moved to Denver, my boyfriend at that time bought me this amazingly simple device that I just don’t use enough. It’s basically a dainty funnel so I can pee while standing. It’s awesome. There is one catch to it: I never thought I’d go through a power trip just by using it.

Seriously.

There’s something oddly empowering about not having to sit, squat, or hover in order to relieve one’s bladder. There’s the added empowerment of not having to drop your panties to pee. It’s really quite amazing the freedom that I obtained by having such a simple device. I can pee almost anywhere just like a guy!!

Don’t feel like trying to balance your 40lb backpack in order to squat out in the woods?

Feel wonky about using the port-o-potties at Burning Man?

Got the gas station bathroom blues?

Just feel like standing and peeing when you’re at home?

Then THIS is the item for you!!

I’ve heard of groups of mountaineering women who get together and have parties to decorate this wonder of the modern world. I’ve talked to women who have drilled a small hole on the back of it to attach a small carabiner so it can be easily accessible on their packs.  I’ve stood near boyfriends and peed standing up with them, as they look on with curiosity and astonishment.

From using it, I think I have a slightly better understanding why men do what they do with their junk. There’s always been a fascination for me around penises and it’s not on a sexual level. Well…there’s that too…but that’s not what I’m talking about right now. What does it feel like to have one?  To have something dangling between your legs all the time? To have sensations on the outside instead of the inside? Does it feel more comforting to have it swaying in boxers or snug in a pair of tighty whities? Does it get in the way alot? I saw something about this guy who was doing shadow puppets with his…wouldn’t that hurt or even get you aroused? Does it feel better to have warmth or cool on it? How hard is it to tuck it?

The questions go on…

But the biggest question was always: What’s it feel like to pee while standing?

Thank you Freshette for answering my question by giving me the means to experience it first hand.

P.S. I love the directions. “…with your back to the wind.”

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